Ruby's Legacy: Heirlooms of Life

Ruby' Legacy: Heirlooms of my Life has moved.   All future post can be read there. Or if you prefer, you can click to follow the blog via facebook or google friends. 

(This was written to encourage the many wives out there who find themselves in this situation, who feel lost, or alone, misunderstood and misjudged. I am opening a "closet" in hopes of helping those on either side of the topic)  

I have been giving a great deal of thought to my husband in particular, and how he must feel.  Let me explain. For those who don't know, my husband is on permanent disability.

Before we got married, and for the first 2-4 yrs of our marriage, Bob worked 12-16 hrs. a day, not including the commute. When I say commute, I mean NYC subways and buses. At night fewer buses and trains are running, and you might have to wait as long as 20 min. if you miss the train (perhaps longer) and the bus is even slower, and doesn't/didn't have the same stops or routes. On a typical day, Bob was up and out the door by 5:30 am and would not return home until 11:30PM or later. This is how we lived for the first several years of marriage. He worked 2 jobs to keep us afloat. Rent was $650 plus utilities, and that was considered a low rent in 1986. Comparable apartments now rent for almost triple that. The summer we went to NYC to visit we were fully prepared for the LORD to lead us back, and we looked at rental prices.

One morning, David was only 3 months old, Bob woke up with a sore throat. A few days later, it was worse, he called off at work--both jobs. That week he saw the doctor who told him his throat wasn't even red, accused him of being "a goldbrick" and refused to write an excuse for him. But he was in agony. His throat hurt him so bad he was literally crying in bed for MONTHS,  except for running to doctors appointments or tests. He spent almost 3 months in bed, in pain. I remember sitting in one doctor's office wondering how I was going to manage caring for my KING size husband and infant son in NYC without any family or help. I thought at that point he was going to be an invalid for the rest of his life.

He finally got well enough to return to work, but it didn't take long for his symptoms to return. During that time, he was began working 2 jobs (again), and all the while continuing with the ministry in NYC too. He never ceased to pass out tracts or talk to people about Jesus, even on his worst day. That is one thing that didn't change. (Never has) His zeal, though not enough for some folks, has not wavered.  He got so ill again that he had to call in, and after a few more times of this they told him they would fire him if it happened again.

He lost his second job and finally had to quit his day job too. It was very hard on us. By this time we had 3 children, under 2 yrs. of age, and no real income. To get some help we moved to MD to be near my family, but things got worse for us. We moved to Jax. Fl, and that was even worse than MD. We knew leaving NYC was a mistake. We knew we had to return to NYC. Selling all but one small trailer full of our belongings, we returned to NYC.

After days of looking for work, and a place to live, the catch-22 of no job, no apartment-no apartment, no job,wasn't going to just go away. As a result, with 3 children under 3 yrs., we had to seek emergency housing. That's how we ended up living in a shelter for the homeless, for 3 months, before we got an apartment of our own. During this time Bob was sent to numerous doctors, took more tests, and was finally told to apply for disability. His problem wasn't/isn't an inability to work, but rather his inability to work, even a desk job, for 40 hours a week, week after week etc. Even now, he has good days and bad days, good weeks and bad weeks, good months and bad months. Stress brings on the pain, and headaches.

Then a few years ago he broke his leg (a long story). He had to have 2 surgeries to repair it, was ordered to be "non-weight bearing" for 12-18 weeks, and never had any physical therapy afterwards. As a result of this accident, and other health problems, he can't walk as good as he used to and uses a wheelchair at the mall and large stores.

The reason I said all this is because I am trying to see this from his point of view. It must be difficult for a man who wants to work and take care of his family, to be unable to do it. Talk about male ego being knocked down. There was a while when, looking back, I think Bob was depressed. But,  at the time I was so stressed and breaking in my own way I didn't even realize what was happening.

Your whole world, and life as a husband and wife is affected. Everything from the bank account to the marriage bed, to the ministry to family and relationships. People see a person who looks able-bodied and they just don't get it because they all know someone with serious, obvious illnesses who can't get disability. Any help is hard to get. People want to know alot of personal business, and they want to make sure that you don't have money hidden away that you could use, and if you do, they will force you to use it all up (by refusing to help until it's gone) before they will help you at all. You can't have money in the bank, or invest, they hold that against you too. Basically, you have to have nothing to get on disability.

Anyway, I wonder how my hubby dealt (deals) with this. I see the looks people give him, Pastors and bretheren included. More than once he's been assaulted with the verse about a man working and eating. Isn't it a shame that some Christians seem to enjoy kicking you when you're down. Maybe it makes them feel better about who or what they are.

A man, having to reliquish his role as provider, is a humbling, even humiliating, traumatic thing to come to terms with.

I read an article once about a woman who worked because her husband was unable to. In this article/testimony she explained how she would cash her paycheck and bring the money and all the bills to her husband, and left him to decide how to spend it. She felt that this really her keep her place as a submissive wife, and in turn it made it clear to him that even though he couldn't make the money, the responsibility for how it was spent was his.  I don't know if I could do that without feeling bad. But this was an inspiration to me because I have a HUGE tendency to want to know how we are going to spend any bit of unspoken for money, and I want to spend it MY way first. (Bob says Hi to everyone) If we have $25 extra, I want to put in a bid for what we'll do or get with it.   I want control. I want to be in charge of that money. I feel in a some way that it's owed to me, and I don't go out to work and earn it. Poor husband! So this lady's testimony really spoke volumes to me about my attitude about family finances. It's hard for me to just let my husband do what he thinks is necessary and trust the LORD.

The truth is that what it really comes down to...submission.  That it is trusting the LORD to work it all out for your good, using your husband, and his successes and failures, to do it. It's a matter of believing that God is in control and that's ok.

Back to my point...what was it?  Oh yes, when a God fearing man who wants to obey and provide for his family but can't do that, it is a transition for him, and it takes time for him to adjust.

Things I envisioned us doing together, will never be. Us being together, is what is important, not where we go or what we do.  There are times when I am so frustrated that I can't just walk through the mall hand-in-hand with my honey, or stroll along arm-in-arm or with around his waist...I actually get jealous of the women who can.  It's hard on him, and me. And the children...the typical afternoon of throwing a ball, or hiking, camping...none of that works for us...and I know that  all 6 of our children, but the boys in particular have had to deal with their own disappointments about that.  They love their father dearly, and deeply, but they have wishes that they too have had to let go of, and trust the LORD about.

Please keep praying for us.

Love,Terry

You can live in this world full of flaws and mistakes yet still be content

with the things that you do.

For the perfection of God can flow through your

life till His glory keeps pressing you through.

You can face disappointment you never expected and

keep going when the sunrises again.

For the Lord God of heaven can grant you

new mercies for tomorrow before it

begins.

You can survive heartache that makes you cry a river

and causes you towonder how you'll ever go on.

For God will let you rest in His infinite

Presence till your heart is more able and strong.

You can live through losses that send your life reeling

and change all ofyour hopes & dreams.

For the Lord can be your solace...and your

anchor of hope when life isn't the vision it seems.

You can battle one problem after another

but those problems won't damageyour soul.

For the King of all kings will whisper "peace" to you

to prove that He'sstill in control.

You can walk through a season of shaky uncertainty

where God's truth is the one thing you know.

For God can take a cup that's been cracked & worn out

and fill it until it overflows.

-Sheila Gosney

A few things happened yesterday, and I really had to battle it out, mentally. It caused me to reexamine my motives, and recommit what I do to the LORD. It took me a few hours to make peace with God about.

Then this morning it all came back....the unrest, the uncertainty, the fear. And I had to do it all over again. And I have this mental picture of Rom. 8:28 in my mind.

That's when I got honest with God. I told Him flat out that I don't like.....and that I am afraid if.....that....would happen, and just poured my heart out like water before the Throne of Grace. Isn't it wonderful that we can approach that Throne, God's Throne, with boldness? We don't have to go slinking in, all sneaky-like.

Think about the contrast between us and Queen Esther. Esther was the queen, the King's wife, and he loved her, but she was fearful to approach him without being called, because it was not proper to go to the king without his requesting you to come. The consequences of going to him uninvited meant certain death, unless he held out his sceptre to you. Then you were welcomed into his presence breathing a sigh of relief. But as Born-again children of God, we are granted permission by the Blood of Jesus Christ to boldly approach the throne with our needs and wants, and maybe sometimes it would be nice if we just sat and "talked a spell" asking for nothing at all.

  "Let us therefore come BOLDLY unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16

 "So that we may BOLDLY say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me." Hebrews 13:6

After some time before the throne the LORD reminded, "Terry, you need to trust Me. You might not see the good in this, but I do. Stop looking at your life and circumstances. With eyes of faith, look at Me. The storms will not last forever. The sun will shine again. I will give you rest, and send refreshing showers to you. Just hold on to Me." That is what I am trying to do.

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart, lean not unto thine own understanding, in all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path" Proverbs 3:5

If I knew it would be the last time

That I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly

and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time

that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss

and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time

I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would video tape each action and word,

so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I could spare an extra minute

to stop and say "I love you,"

instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time

I would be there to share your day,

Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,

so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow

to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance

to make everything just right.

There will always be another day

to say "I love you,"

And certainly there's another chance

to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,

and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you

and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,

young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance

you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,

why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,

you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time

for a smile, a hug, or a kiss

and you were too busy to grant someone,

what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,

and whisper in their ear,

Tell them how much you love them

and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"

"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes,

you'll have no regrets about today.

If I knew it would be the last time

That I'd see you fall asleep,

I would tuck you in more tightly

and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time

that I see you walk out the door,

I would give you a hug and kiss

and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time

I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,

I would video tape each action and word,

so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,

I could spare an extra minute

to stop and say "I love you,"

instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time

I would be there to share your day,

Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,

so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow

to make up for an oversight,

and we always get a second chance

to make everything just right.

There will always be another day

to say "I love you,"

And certainly there's another chance

to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,

and today is all I get,

I'd like to say how much I love you

and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,

young or old alike,

And today may be the last chance

you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,

why not do it today?

For if tomorrow never comes,

you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time

for a smile, a hug, or a kiss

and you were too busy to grant someone,

what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,

and whisper in their ear,

Tell them how much you love them

and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"

"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."

And if tomorrow never comes,

you'll have no regrets about today.

The longer I live, the more I realize that many of the things we "wish" or "wonder" which seem to crop up at inopportune moments, are planted by the enemy of our souls, to side track us from serving The Blessed Saviour.

Often when I get caught up in thinking about things that will, in this life, remain unanswered questions, I realize that it is nearly impossible to do much for The LORD.  We are weak and God pities us, "For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust." Psalms 103:14  He made us. He understands that, at times, in our human frailty, we can't help ourselves.

A few weeks ago is when I turned a corner. My pent up grief and anquish of heart and mind, along with the final scribbs of my broken and shattered dreams, were destroying my life. In the course of 4 years, which is about the time things began to spiral downward, I had to let go of relationships, dreams, hopes, wants and wishes. Crushed, broken, and bleeding, literally wanting to die, dying inside repeatedly, but burying that anquish and pain was needful for the good of the rest of my family who were experiencing the very same feelings as I.

Most nights I would lie awake, waiting, until I knew everyone else was asleep, into the wee hours of the morning crying and praying. I got a very real, too real, feel for what David must have felt when he said:

 "Have mercy upon me, O LORD; for I am weak: O LORD, heal me; for my bones are vexed." Psalms 6:2  

 "I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with my tears." Psalms 6:6  

 "I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint: my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels."  Psalms 22:14  

 "I may tell all my bones: they look and stare upon me." Psalms 22:17  

 "For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing: my strength faileth because of mine iniquity, and my bones are consumed." Psalms 31:10   

"When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long." Psalms 32:3

 But I HAD TO BE the strong one. I HAD TO BE the one who drew upon strength that I didn't even know I had, strength from God, and what He put in us that enables us in this body of clay to exceed human reasoning in difficult situations. To say I don't know how I did it, is a huge understatement, because with all that went on, honestly, it's a miracle we are alive to tell about, and that we are still a family. Yes, it was that raw, and destructive.

Back to a few weeks ago. It was more-or-less an ordinary day. Later there was a bit of conflict and suddenly the dam of broke. Imagine the Grand Canyon dammed up and filled with water just cracking wide open....that was me. My guts hurt I cried so hard. I strained muscles in my face and eyes, and still have a minor twitch in my left eye from that moment. The sounds that came from my throat were unlike any I ever made before. It was more like an animal crying in anquish and pain. For a bit I thought I would never stop. Then I realized I had to stop or  I would lose it. I think I would have lost my mind, or had a "nervous breakdown." It was THAT bad. Only The LORD knows how I stopped. It wasn't me.

 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee."Isaiah 26:3   

Since that time I've been in a battle. A battle of keeping my mind stayed on Christ  and the things of God, and of trusting Him, believing that though things look impossible to me, and though I can not see how "all things work together for the good...." in this or that situation, somehow the LORD is enabling me to do it.

Matthew 19:26   But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Luke 1:37   For with God nothing shall be impossible.

Luke 18:27   And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

Romans 8:28   And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

All this has drawn me into a different place with The LORD. That is the only way I can say it. New peace is mine, but the battles are not finished, and I know that.

Another help it has been, (Look! Romans 8:28 is coming true just in that statement which I didn't even realize until I wrote it) is that it's helping me to trust my husband more, and trust The LORD with it working out for our best. That's been harder than it sounds.

"Wives, SUBMIT yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." Ephesians 5:22

"Wives, SUBMIT yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord." Colossians 3:18

For instance, when I have knowledge or experience about a certain product, but he doesn't, and he wants to buy it anyway, stating my concerns once or not at all depending on the clues I MUST pick up on, is tough. Lately I am really trying not to say anything unless he asks. I am learning to keep quiet and let him do as he wishes, pleases, or wants, regardless of the outcome, and keeping my attitude and spirit right, whether the endeavor is a success or failure. ( I fail at this many times.)

"And when he would not be persuaded , we ceased , saying , The will of the Lord be done ."Acts 21:14

"And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God." Romans 8:27

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2

"Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come , who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God." 1 Corinthians 4:5

One particular day years ago,  when I was really struggling with submitting to my husband, the skies parted and I heard a voice say, "Submission to your husband is not about trusting your husband, it is about trusting Me".  Ok, the skies really didn't part, and that voice was still and small, none-the-less, that statement is true.

Submission to your husband (or any God ordained authority**) is not about you trusting them. It is about you putting and keeping your faith and trust in the LORD, acknowledging that He is in control, working for your good, even when it seems impossible. With Him it is possible and TRUE.

If we allow ourselves to be consumed with our trials without seeking The LORD's help, without wanting His will even when it deeply pains us to the very core of our soul, we give place to the devil*.

That's why I said, "The longer I live, the more I realize that many of the things we "wish" or "wonder" which seem to crop up at inopportune moments, are planted by the enemy of our souls, to side track us in serving The Blessed Saviour."  

*Ephesians 4:22, 23, 24,27  "That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man,...  And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness....Neither give place to the devil."

**Hebrews 13:17 "OBEY THEM THAT HAVE THE RULE OVER YOU, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that [is] unprofitable for you."  

1 Samuel 15:22 "And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams."

(Disclaimer: Scriptures sited here may not be dispensationally correct, but have been used to present principles,  stated or implied. The purpose is to glorify God, and to encourage and edify to the saints.)

It's easy to get caught up in thinking about yourself. There are times when, especially if you are a wife or a mother, that you wish someone would think about you for a change. Go ahead and admit it.
 

Many of the choices I make each day are based on "what will I get from this".  I do things that I don't want to do, to "keep peace", or because it pleases me, makes me happy etc.  Selfish sums it up.

Even when it comes to interacting with people, or maybe especially when it comes to interpersonal relationships, this is true.

Within the small circle of my life, it is staggering --the number of people who have never had a true friend, ever. Aside from the LORD JESUS.

What is commonplace is people associating with people who have similar interests, or from whom they might gain prestige, or be noticed. They look at others as stepping stones to the next level on the social ladder. Yes, even in Christian, and church circles, it is typical to meet people who could care less WHAT you know, but WHO you know. This is the way of the world.

I will admit that I have fallen into that myself. You have people whose writing you've read or messages you've listened to, and they have been a tremendous help to you, and so, it is in our nature to want to meet them. Isn't that what groupies do?  There are christian groupies doing the same thing.

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." Philippians 2:3,

If we all tried to do this, there would be no lonely Christians, none that felt as outcast among us.

This saying was on plaque: 

In the whole world you might be one person ,

but to one person you might be the whole world .

The unanswered email, forgotten return call, overdue thank you.... seemingly insignificant in the big picture, but to the one waiting on the other end, it might be everything.

Yesterday we celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary.  To reach this milestone, is nothing short of miraculous.  The LORD has blessed us so much.  For some this will be a repeat (sorry), but I think it belongs here, as part of the legacy of my life, and possibly to encourage other wives to do the same thing for their love.

25 Reasons Why I love MY Man!

1. The LORD brought us together

2. He puts up with me

3.He's cute

4.He loves the LORD, and has a burden for the Lost.

5. He loves our children

6. He loves me

7. He wants to do right

8. He gives up his time for others

9. He thinks I'm beautiful

10. He likes to surprise me

11. He enjoys talking to me

12. He loves God's Word

13. He preaches the truth

14. He cares about people

15. He's cute

16. He makes me laugh

17. He makes me crazy    

18. He always forgives me

19. Even when I am a mess, he can't take his eyes off me

20. His kisses are sweet

21. His hugs are comforting

22. Holding his hand is like falling in love again

23. He's the cat's meow

24. He's Mr. Wonderful

25. He is my WORLD.

Beautiful?

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after

surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered

open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A

couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're

cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful"

it was "cute." She said "What happened to 'beautiful'? His reply was

"The drugs are wearing off!" 

As our babies came along, what to call them was not something I really thought about, or planned, besides their names, of course.

It was after entering the circle of homeschoolers that how I referred to our offspring was called into question. That is when I took a mental journey back in time to my teen years.

Circa 1980: riding in the W. family van to their home on a Sunday afternoon. All of us girls, 4-5 of us, were in the back being, well, teen girls-laughing, talking, giggling. One of us, said “kids” in reference to the little people who rode the bus or were in junior church. That word, “kids”, didn’t get past Mrs. W.

“Kids are goats! Not people!” she declared. That was Mrs. W.’s way of letting you know that you’d crossed a line with her.

Any shame we felt was short-lived and we went on with our girlishness, without giving her comment a second thought.

That wasn’t the first time I’d heard Mrs. W. use that tone with regards to the subject of people under the age of 18. It wasn’t the last either. However, like most in their mid-teens, I would hear but not hear. Like Mommy says, “In one ear, and out the other.” That sums it up.

Progressing from then, to the mid 1990’s, I was confronted with What Does God Call Our Children?

There was the “kid” thing again. Only this time, because I was a Mom of 3, it went in one ear, and got stuck. The LORD had prepared my mind and heart to listen. He knew I was ready to hear.

This might seem trivial to you, but words are important. Isn’t that why we King James Bible Believers stand against other versions?

Words are important. Not just the written word, but words we speak.

Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof”

What we call our children is important. What God calls them is even more important.

I shudder at the newest, trendy slogan on baby clothes and wares. “Little Monster” might seem funny, or cute, but how many parents are raising little monsters? How many of those parents are Christians who think it is harmless?

God says something different. When it is convenient, we are quick to say that we are “in the world and not of it”, that we are “pilgrims and strangers” but do we believe it? Do we live it?

Are we supposed to adopt the world’s terminology? What about Romans 12:2?

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

The reason we are republishing this article is to edify, exhort, and if need be, rebuke, our Beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, not to argue over words. The text and Hebrew citations belong to the original author; all non-KJV Bible quotations have been removed.

Without reservation or regret, I choose to call my children what God calls our children. Will you?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

WHAT DOES GOD CALL OUR CHILDREN?

By Nancy Campbell

The most common word for 'children' in our society today is the word 'kids'. Is this a word that God has chosen to call our children? We do not see it anywhere in the Bible in relation to children. In fact, if you check the 1928 Webster's Dictionary you will not find this word for children. 'Kids' is a modern word, which has been added in later years.

I have to confess that for a long time, I also used this word. I did not like the word and never felt that it was right, but I succumbed to the trend around me. Oh, how easy it is to do things just because everyone else is doing them, without thinking whether it is actually the best thing to do!

However, there came a time when I was challenged. A number of years ago I read an article about a sheep farmer in New Zealand. This farmer had diversified into raising goats, as well as sheep, and he noticed an interesting comparison. The ewes remained close to their lambs, watching them while they fed. He noticed, however, that the goats would herd their young together in one spot on a knoll of a hill and leave them, while they went off to forage for the day. They did not provide the same individual attention, which the sheep gave to their offspring.

My mind ticked over as I read this, but before I accepted it, I thought I should check out if it was really true. I asked my father who is an authority on sheep. He was the World Champion Sheep Shearer in his younger days and has shorn over a million sheep in his lifetime.

"Yes," he said, "Sheep will never go further than earshot from the little lambs."

I was very challenged. Has 'kids' become the accepted word for children today, because we have become a generation of 'goat mothers'? Instead of staying close to their lambs, thousands of mothers are dropping them off at nurseries and day care and going off to fulfill their own careers. This is 'goat mothering.' No wonder we call our children 'kids'!

THE CHARACTER OF GOATS

A lady in Australia, shared with me that she and her husband used to hunt wild goats for a living in out-back New South Wales. She observed that in the face of danger the nanny goat would leave her little kids unprotected and run from danger to save herself. And yet the sheep, which is a docile animal, will protect its young. While walking around the ewes and lambs with my father in New Zealand a couple of years ago I noticed a little new-born lamb, struggling to its feet for the first time. I crept right up to it to get a picture. The mother ewe was scared of me and ran away a couple of yards, but because of her protective instinct over her lamb, she came right back to guard her baby, even though she was afraid! She was a protecting mother who would not leave her young.

Another thing this lady in New South Wales noticed was that the goats were cowards and would give up easily. When they caught the goats live, they would turn them over onto their backs. She said that the goats did not struggle. Their eight-year-old daughter was able to put her foot on the goat's neck and it waited until they came to tie it up.

A farmer's wife from New Zealand wrote to me, "Over many years we have raised lambs on our land and indeed the sheep are wonderful mothers. This year, for the first time, we had goats and baby kids. One Sunday, as we drove in the front gate we heard a loud bleating and stopped to check. There, on top of the hill were young twins, brown and white and no mother anywhere at all. My eight-year-old son was very worried and kept going back to check. After two hours they were cold and getting weaker so we heated bricks, wrapped in newspaper, and went to warm them and prepare to feed these ‘orphans.’ When we arrived, there to our amazement, was the mother, who was not dead, but had simply gone off to feed. She must have continued this neglect because not long after, the little white kid was taken by a fox." I am sure we do not want to be classified as one of these goat mothers!

This is certainly not the kind of character we want to speak into our children either, is it? Do we really want them to be like 'kids'? We used to have a pet goat when we were children, and although we loved ‘Jilly' she was the biggest problem of our lives. We were always in trouble with neighbors as she would get into their gardens and eat their flowers, vegetables and trees - and their clothing hanging on the line! We were not very popular! Goats by nature are independent, proud, rebellious, destructive and yet cowardly in the face of danger.

THE CHARACTER OF SHEEP

God always likens His people to sheep, who by nature are meek and submissive.

· Psalm 79:13, “So we thy people and sheep of thy pasture will give thee thanks forever.”

· Psalm 95:7; 100:3, “We are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand.”

· Isaiah 53:6, “All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned every one to his own way.”

 Psalm 119:176, 1 Peter 2:25.

· John 10:1-15, “He calleth his own sheep by name, and leadeth them out... he goeth before them, and the sheep follow him: for they know his voice.”

Even Jesus Himself is likened to a sheep because of His total submission to the Father’s will.

· Isaiah 53:7, “He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, and yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth.”

· John 1:29, “Behold, the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.”

GOD SEPARATES THE SHEEP FROM THE GOATS

The people whom God calls 'goats' are those He separates from His company.

· Zechariah 10.3, "I punished the goats: for the Lord of hosts hath visited His flock..."

When God visits His flock, He will separate the sheep from the goats and punish the goats! The goats and the sheep are in the flock together, but only one belongs to Him - the sheep. We noticed this when we visited Israel a number of times and saw the Bedouin shepherds with their little flock of goats and sheep. They both look alike, and from a distance you cannot tell the difference. In the church today the goats and sheep are all in the flock together, but there will come a day when God will visit His flock, and He will separate the one from the other.

Ezekiel 34:17 And as for you, O my flock, thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I judge between cattle and cattle, between the rams and the he goats.

Matthew 25:31-46. "When the Son of man shall come in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then shall He sit upon the throne of His glory: and before Him shall be gathered all nations, and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: and he shall set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left....and these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal."

Wow! After realizing all this I decided that I did not want to be part of the goat company. I did not want to impose the goat character upon my children. Our children should be different from the children of the world. I therefore made an effort to stop using the word 'kids'. Now I find that it grates upon me when I hear it.

That is the negative. What about the positive? If 'kids' is not the kingdom word for our children, what can we call them?

How about using the word, 'children'? We have already discovered that the most common word for children in the Bible is 'ben' which literally means, 'the builder of the family name.' That is a name that is worth using, isn't it? However, apart from children, sons and daughters, offspring, lads and lasses, which are all Biblical names, we find many expressions of God's heart for children. These are wonderful expressions you can use when speaking about your children. Let us discover them together, shall we?

1. GIFTS.

Read Genesis 33:5; 48:9; Joshua 24:3; Ruth 4:13b; 1 Chronicles 25:4-6; Psalm 127:3-5

Our children are gifts from the hand of the Lord. God gives them to us. We can call them our 'gifts'. What we call our children has an amazing impact upon their attitude and their behavior.

I had a lovely revelation recently from Jeremiah 1:5, "Before I formed thee in the womb I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations." As I checked the word "ordained" in my concordance I was amazed to notice that the Hebrew word, "nathan" is a primary root word meaning "to give." God planned Jeremiah's future before he was even conceived! God gave him as a "gift" to the nations.

Every child is a gift to the world! Isn't that exciting? Our children are not only a gift from God to us, but a gift to others. Each child God has given you is a gift from God to the world. Who knows which one will be another David, or Paul, or Einstein or Billy Graham! Or anointed and faithful builders, teachers, store managers or whatever! And of course, godly mothers and fathers. Praise God, the world will never be the same because of these "gifts" that you have brought into the world and will bring into the world.

Psalm 127:3 says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

2. BLESSINGS. Deuteronomy 28:4; 33:24; 1 Chronicles 26:4-5.

I remember a friend of mine with three difficult little children. She often referred to them as her 'brats'. One day God convicted her that these children were blessings from God and that she should acknowledge them as such. She began to call them her 'blessings'. As she changed her vocabulary, her attitude to her children changed. As she changed, her children changed. Instead of being 'brats', they became the blessings she called them. These children are now fully grown today and are continuing to bring much blessing to their parents.

3. HERITAGE OF THE LORD. Psalm 127:3.

4. FRUIT OF THE WOMB. Psalm 127:3.

5. BELOVED FRUIT OF THE WOMB. Hosea 9:16.

I love the beautiful names God calls our children. Isn't this a lovely one? Not just the 'fruit of the womb', but the 'BELOVED FRUIT OF THE WOMB'! The context of this passage is that God was going to destroy the beloved fruit of their womb, because of their continual disobedience. However, it shows how God views children and also how the early Hebrews felt about their children.

6. REWARDS. Psalm 127:3.

We feel really special when we have been rewarded, do not we? Imagine how special your children will feel when you call them your 'rewards'.

7. ARROWS. Psalm 127:4.

Our task as parents is to polish, sharpen and prepare arrows to be ready to be sent forth from the bow to the hit the mark God has planned for their lives. We are 'arrow polishers.' It gives our children a sense of destiny to know they are arrows, being sharpened and prepared for God's army. This is a great name to call your children. Here are some of the kind of arrows God wants you to prepare for His purposes:

1. READY arrows.

Psalm 21:12, “Thou shalt make ready thine arrows upon thy strings…”

2. POLISHED arrows.

Isaiah 49:2, “He made me a polished arrow; in His quiver hath He hid me; And said unto me, Thou art my servant, O Israel, in whom I will be glorified.”

3. PIERCING arrows. Numbers 24:8

Numbers 24:8, “God shall pierce them through with His arrows.”

4. SCATTERING arrows.

2 Samuel 22:5, Psalm 18:14, “He sent out His arrows, and scattered them…”

5. STICKING FAST arrows.

Psalm 38:2, “Thine arrows stick fast in me…”

6. SHARP arrows.

Psalm 45:5; “Thine arrows are sharp…”

7. BRIGHT arrows.

Jeremiah 51:11a, “Make bright the arrows…”

8. LIGHT GIVING arrows.

Habakkuk 3:11, “At the light of thine arrows they went…”

9. GOING ABROAD arrows.

Psalm 77:17, “Thine arrows also went abroad.”

10. DESTROYING arrows.

Psalm 144:6, “Shoot out thine arrows, and destroy them.”

11. HITTING THE MARK arrows.

Jeremiah 50:9, “Their arrows shall be as of a mighty expert man, none shall return in vain.”

12. SHOOTING arrows.

Psalm 64:7; 144:6, “Shoot out thine arrows, and destroy them.”

13. ON FIRE arrows.

Psalm 120:4, “Sharp arrows of the mighty, with coals of juniper.”

14. DELIVERING arrows.

2 Kings 13:14-19, “The arrow of the Lord’s deliverance.”

8. OLIVE PLANTS. Psalm 128:3.

I wonder why God calls our children 'olive plants'. I think I have a few ideas:

1. Olive trees were a symbol of blessing to the Israelites. When they saw the new olive shoots growing up around their olive trees, they knew they were blessed. Deut 6:11; 8:8

2. Olive plants have to be cultivated or they will deteriorate and grow wild. So our children have to be cultivated and trained if they are going to grow up in wisdom and stature.

3. Olive trees are a symbol of beauty. Hosea 14:6. The Hebrew word 'hod' used for beauty, although sometimes used for men, is mainly associated with God. It means ‘splendor, majesty glory and honor.’ This time it is used of the olive tree. God wants our children to grow up beautiful like the olive tree, revealing to the world the glory and splendor of God.

4. Olive trees have a purpose. They are not just ornaments. Our children also have a purpose. Before the foundation of the world God chose them and prepared their destiny. It is our role as parents to help them find that destiny and prepare them to walk in it. In Bible days the olive tree was used for:

a) Building. The two cherubims within the oracle and the doors into the oracle were made of olive wood. 1 Kings 6:32-33. The purpose of our 'olive plants' is to help build the kingdom of God.

b) Light. The oil from the olive tree was used for lighting the lamps in the tabernacle. Exodus 27:20-21; Leviticus 24:1-4. Let us pray that our 'olive shoots' will grow up to be lights in the midst of the darkness of this world. There are many who are afraid to have children because they fear to bring them into this evil world. But this is the very purpose God wants us to bring forth the godly seed - to be lights in the midst of the darkness! If we hold back the godly seed, evil will increase.

c) Holy Anointing Oil. Exodus 30:22-33. Let us pray that our 'olive plants' will grow up to be anointed of God to "preach good tidings unto the meek; to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound..." Isaiah 61:1.

d) Food. The Israelites could hardly survive for food without the olive tree. Even in our countries, what would we do without olives, olive oil, and all the foods that contain this commodity? May our children "feed many" who are broken and starving and needing God. Proverbs 10:21.

5. Olive trees live forever. Well, just about. There is a saying in Israel that the "olive tree never dies." On a number of occasions we have visited the site of the Garden of Gethsemane, which is at the base of the Mount of Olives and looks up to the Golden Gate of the city of Jerusalem. This is the gate that the Bible says Jesus is going to walk through one day. In this garden, there are a number of very old, gnarled olive trees. The guides tells us that they are two to three thousand years old and they are still alive and growing. Our children are also eternal souls who will live forever. Mothering is an eternal career. It is not a waste of time. It lasts into the eons of eternity.

9. VIGOROUS GROWING PLANTS. Psalm 144:12.

10. POLISHED CORNER STONES. Psalm 144:12.

What a powerful description for our daughters. The corner stone is the most important stone in the building - it is the pivot, foundation, and plumb line from which everything is measured. We must raise up our daughters to be mothers and homemakers; for motherhood is the foundation of society. It is the greatest career they will ever embark upon. Many daughters today are prepared for other careers instead of motherhood. This brings confusion. When they get married, they face a dilemma. "What do I do with this career for which I have been trained?" They think it is more important than motherhood, and therefore do not fully embrace their mothering role. Because of this, they never really enjoy it. They have no understanding of their highest calling.

Motherhood is a dignified role. It is not to be degraded. We should raise our daughters to be who they are, daughters of the king of kings, with beauty, regality and splendor.

11. SIGNS AND WONDERS. Isaiah 8:18.

How exciting that our children are 'signs and wonders' for God!

12. LAMBS. Isaiah 40:11.

As many mothers change their vocabulary and call their little ones their 'lambs' instead of 'kids', they notice a new attitude toward their children. They experience a fresh tenderness in caring for their offspring. They become more like the Good Shepherd, who does not leave His young, but carries them in His bosom.

13. WORK OF GOD'S HANDS. Isaiah 29:23-24.

How important it is for our children to realize they are not a nuisance to our pursuits in life. They should be reminded they are the 'work of God's hands' and it is our highest privilege in life to teach and train them on God's behalf.

14. GODLY SEED. Malachi 2:15.

The greatest way we can please our Father God is to bring forth and nurture a godly seed. This is what God looks for. And he looks for godly parents to produce this godly seed. The Hebrew word that is used for the “godly” seed is ‘elohim’ which is one of the names of God. Isn’t that amazing? God wants children to come forth who are like Him. God wants children who will show who He is to the world. God wants children who are pure and righteous. God wants children who will allow Him to transform them into His image.

15. GLORY. Hosea 9:11. Children are the “glory” of a nation.

16. CROWNS. Proverbs 17:6. This is a special name for grandchildren.

Also RESTORER OF LIFE and NOURISHER OF OLD AGE. Ruth 4:15.

There are many other special names you can call your children apart from these biblical ones. Each family will have their own pet names, but let us keep to positive ones. Will you take up this challenge with me?

Let us start a revolution and eliminate the word 'kids' from our society!

* * * * *

Introduction by Mrs. Bob (Terry) Leib

Reprinted-The Power of Motherhood; www.aboverubies.org